YVETTE A. LYNN - AUTHOR

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-Yvette
 

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HEAD HOPPING - DEFINING THE TERM

Head-hopping. What is it?

Here’s a good definition I pulled from
Kresley Cole about what head-hopping is:

“Head Hopping Confusing point of view shifts. If you use more than one point of view per scene, each POV needs to be longer than one sentence, and the transition needs to be smooth yet clear.”

Head-hopping is the practice of jumping from one character’s point-of-view (POV) to the next in a single scene. We first know what John is thinking and feeling and then we know what Beth is thinking and feeling. There have even been stories where we know what the minor characters (some seen only once in the entire script) are thinking and feeling, when most of it is unnecessary.

Many NY editors abhor the practice. Writer’s Digest has advised against it. Alison Kent (Harlequin Temptations author) has been quoted as saying it’s a bad idea. Yet big name writers such as Nora Roberts have successfully instituted it. Nora has so skillfully interwoven the use of head-hopping within a single scene, that one barely notices the transition. The story continues to flow well and the reader has minimal confusion.

This has led less experienced writers to take up the practice, or rather continue it when they’ve not mastered the elements that make for a smooth story line. Some have expressed a desire to show the hero and heroine’s thoughts in one scene, and think that there is no other alternative to doing this except through head-hopping. I beg to differ.

Creative writing classes and courses often teach authors to express what a character is feeling or thinking in various descriptive ways. The author can use gestures, facial expressions, dialogue, the thoughts of the person who’s POV the scene is in and even prior knowledge. After all, that’s how we infer what others are thinking in real life.

An Example

Here is an example of a writing that uses head-hopping:

Layla hated when Geoff jumped through hoops to please his new boss. It made her see red every time he left their bed to run to her rescue because of some lame excuse. “I don’t understand why she can’t wait until the morning to go over that report, Geoff. Why does she need you?”

Geoff was tired of Layla riding his back about Kenya. Ok, so she was hot, but that didn’t mean he was going to jump into bed with her. Why’d Layla have to be so jealous? It was driving him crazy. “Drop it, Layla. I’ll be back in an hour, tops.”


The author assumes she couldn’t show how annoyed Geoff is with Layla’s jealousy without letting Geoff express it himself in thought. However, there are other interesting ways. See the scene rewritten below in Layla’s point of view only.

Layla hated when Geoff jumped through hoops to please his new boss. It made her see red every time he left their bed to run to her rescue because of some lame excuse. “I don’t understand why she can’t wait until the morning to go over that report, Geoff. Why does she need you?”

He flung the cordless in his hand across the room. “God, Layla! Do you have to be so freakin’ jealous all the time? It’s work, pure and simple. Nothing more.”

She jumped, knowing he was really upset to have smashed the phone against the wall, but she stood her ground. “Nothing more? The lust in your eyes when she waltzed in wearing that flimsy dress looked more like something to me.”


In the second example, we don’t know what Geoff is thinking, but we know he’s attracted to his boss and we know that he’s fed up with Layla’s jealousy.

The above example of head-hopping was actually a good ordered one as not to cause much confusion; however I have seen plenty of writing where the order is much more disorganized.

Consistency

If an author insists on head-hopping within a single scene, it may be a good idea to follow Kresley’s advice above. Stay in one person’s POV for longer than one sentence. A good paragraph will help your reader to stay with your train of thought easier and enjoy your story that much more. Keep the hopping to a minimum. We don’t need to know what every minor character thinks of what the hero or heroine is doing. Using the tools mentioned to show what a character is feeling keeps things in order.

Another important point for consistency is that of knowing your aim within your story. Are you using the omniscient point-of-view where the narrator allows the reader to know what’s happening in everyone’s mind? Are you using first or third person? For an even flow, choose one and stay with it. Unfortunately, a disorganized manuscript is the one that is in third person for a while then jumps over to omniscient, then back again, and so on.

My Thoughts

Now I know there are some who will not agree, but I feel strongly against head-hopping, no matter who advocates it. Many writers are determined to do it without fine tuning the process. They don’t really accept guidance. I say, master sticking to one POV in third person, per scene, and work on the multiple ideas on the side. Just don’t expect an editor not to call you on it if you haven’t done at least that.

An editor’s job is to help, not to hurt the author. The editor wants to assist in bringing forth the most polished manuscript possible. Yes, the author is free to reject the changes an editor makes, but it’s important to think long and hard about whether what she’s saying makes sense. Only then will the author grow and become a master writer.

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Yvette A. Lynn is CEO of Amira Press, LLC, a small publishing company, and a multi-published author. For more information on her, please visit www.amirapress.com and www.yvettelynn.com.