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HEAD HOPPING -
DEFINING THE TERM Head-hopping.
What is it?
Here’s a good definition I pulled from
Kresley Cole about what head-hopping is:
“Head Hopping Confusing point of view shifts. If you use more than
one point of view per scene, each POV needs to be longer than one
sentence, and the transition needs to be smooth yet clear.”
Head-hopping is the practice of jumping from one character’s
point-of-view (POV) to the next in a single scene. We first know
what John is thinking and feeling and then we know what Beth is
thinking and feeling. There have even been stories where we know
what the minor characters (some seen only once in the entire script)
are thinking and feeling, when most of it is unnecessary.
Many NY editors abhor the practice. Writer’s Digest has advised
against it. Alison Kent (Harlequin Temptations author) has been
quoted as saying it’s a bad idea. Yet big name writers such as Nora
Roberts have successfully instituted it. Nora has so skillfully
interwoven the use of head-hopping within a single scene, that one
barely notices the transition. The story continues to flow well and
the reader has minimal confusion.
This has led less experienced writers to take up the practice, or
rather continue it when they’ve not mastered the elements that make
for a smooth story line. Some have expressed a desire to show the
hero and heroine’s thoughts in one scene, and think that there is no
other alternative to doing this except through head-hopping. I beg
to differ.
Creative writing classes and courses often teach authors to express
what a character is feeling or thinking in various descriptive ways.
The author can use gestures, facial expressions, dialogue, the
thoughts of the person who’s POV the scene is in and even prior
knowledge. After all, that’s how we infer what others are thinking
in real life.
An Example
Here is an example of a writing that uses head-hopping:
Layla hated when Geoff jumped through hoops to please his new
boss. It made her see red every time he left their bed to run to her
rescue because of some lame excuse. “I don’t understand why she
can’t wait until the morning to go over that report, Geoff. Why does
she need you?”
Geoff was tired of Layla riding his back about Kenya. Ok, so she was
hot, but that didn’t mean he was going to jump into bed with her.
Why’d Layla have to be so jealous? It was driving him crazy. “Drop
it, Layla. I’ll be back in an hour, tops.”
The author assumes she couldn’t show how annoyed Geoff is with
Layla’s jealousy without letting Geoff express it himself in
thought. However, there are other interesting ways. See the scene
rewritten below in Layla’s point of view only.
Layla hated when Geoff jumped through hoops to please his new
boss. It made her see red every time he left their bed to run to her
rescue because of some lame excuse. “I don’t understand why she
can’t wait until the morning to go over that report, Geoff. Why does
she need you?”
He flung the cordless in his hand across the room. “God, Layla! Do
you have to be so freakin’ jealous all the time? It’s work, pure and
simple. Nothing more.”
She jumped, knowing he was really upset to have smashed the phone
against the wall, but she stood her ground. “Nothing more? The lust
in your eyes when she waltzed in wearing that flimsy dress looked
more like something to me.”
In the second example, we don’t know what Geoff is thinking, but we
know he’s attracted to his boss and we know that he’s fed up with
Layla’s jealousy.
The above example of head-hopping was actually a good ordered one as
not to cause much confusion; however I have seen plenty of writing
where the order is much more disorganized.
Consistency
If an author insists on head-hopping within a single scene, it may
be a good idea to follow Kresley’s advice above. Stay in one
person’s POV for longer than one sentence. A good paragraph will
help your reader to stay with your train of thought easier and enjoy
your story that much more. Keep the hopping to a minimum. We don’t
need to know what every minor character thinks of what the hero or
heroine is doing. Using the tools mentioned to show what a character
is feeling keeps things in order.
Another important point for consistency is that of knowing your aim
within your story. Are you using the omniscient point-of-view where
the narrator allows the reader to know what’s happening in
everyone’s mind? Are you using first or third person? For an even
flow, choose one and stay with it. Unfortunately, a disorganized
manuscript is the one that is in third person for a while then jumps
over to omniscient, then back again, and so on.
My Thoughts
Now I know there are some who will not agree, but I feel strongly
against head-hopping, no matter who advocates it. Many writers are
determined to do it without fine tuning the process. They don’t
really accept guidance. I say, master sticking to one POV in third
person, per scene, and work on the multiple ideas on the side. Just
don’t expect an editor not to call you on it if you haven’t done at
least that.
An editor’s job is to help, not to hurt the author. The editor wants
to assist in bringing forth the most polished manuscript possible.
Yes, the author is free to reject the changes an editor makes, but
it’s important to think long and hard about whether what she’s
saying makes sense. Only then will the author grow and become a
master writer.
---
Yvette A. Lynn is CEO of Amira Press, LLC, a small publishing
company, and a multi-published author. For more information on her,
please visit
www.amirapress.com and
www.yvettelynn.com.
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